The Full Story • 11.6.21
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- Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2021
- Let's talk about what happened during Mal's endometriosis surgery: what stage the endo was at, how bad it was inside, and what needed to happen in order for Mal to live a pain-free life.
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#Endometriosis #Surgery #Recovery
Mal getting emotional over her surgeon and nurse’s manners was so heartwarming. I’m so glad she had the best people possible for her.
What was the nurses name that gave Stephen ginger ale?
@@redwind5150 her name was Kelsey
Yes! Bedside manner is so so so important! I'm so happy that Mal was fortunate to have such caring surgeon and nurse care for her operation
Love you guys
@@bdboydesq um, love you too.
Who needs kids when you have so many grandkids who will always love and support you through all of your journeys!
Ah yes, grandpa Stephen and grandMal
Here here!
Exactly. 💛😁
When you hinted at the big effects of the surgery and were saying "Some of you can guess where this is going", yeah, this is where I thought this was going. And I completely respect that, both in terms of Mal's health and your personal choices. The entire procedure was important for Mal to be able to live her life to the fullest, and you two have known what makes you two happy in life. It's your lives.
I'm so glad you're going to be free from this pain, Mal.
Also, as I've said before, I'm adopted because my mum has endo. If you ever do develop a wish for a kid, there's always kids who need a home :) like me, too
I was thinking the same thing, so many children who need and want a family to call their own. There is always that option if of when the time is right.
I've always felt that, were I to want a kid some time in the future (and had the capability to support a child), I would want to adopt one, cus I'd rather help someone who's already there and could use it than bring someone new into the world.
Even though you don't have biological kids, you still have us as internet grandkids! We love you both!
and a floofy son
@@doan2300 and a spikey haired guitar playing son with a lot of kids of his own. And Jepson is their grandson. And they have thousands of other grandkids. And some of their grandkids have kids. That's gonna be one packed family reunion.
If they ever did want kids in the future, their is always adoption, but I think they are much happier adopting their fur babies then real babies.
I have to wonder...if kep is their son, does that make him our dad?
A lot of people very innocently ask some really invasive, personal questions. It gets very difficult to hear sometimes when you know your answer isn't what they want to hear..
I very much appreciate that you both felt comfortable enough to talk about how things stand and I'm really happy that you had a good team there and there's such a low chance of it returning. Thank you for being our grandparents
“You’re the best nurse.”
“Well, I have a good patient.”
This was the cutest thing ever🥺 so glad you’re both closing this chapter of your lives💛
As someone who has decided to stay child-free, thank you. Being an only child, I've felt more than my share of guilt over not giving my parents grandkids, so it's always reassuring to see other people make the same decision. Thank you for sharing and being so open with us, I wish both of you the very best and Mal a speedy recovery ❤️
Just wanted to chime in and say that I'm also part of the "not having kids club" - and I was effectually raised an only child, to boot (my sister's 18 years older than me). All this to say that you are definitely not alone, and good on you for stepping against societal pressures.
Neither me nor my sister want kids, but my mom's fine with having granddogs and grandferrets.
I feel sorry that Mal's recovery is longer (rather than a shorter one) but the extra procedure was clearly necessary the most important thing is that Mel feels better, will be better, and hopefully will not require another surgery, and that is exactly what happened. We all send our love and wishes for a successful recovery! #TeamMal
Mal's experience is, sadly, a perfect example of the gaslighting in the medical field from doctors, nurses and the like, to patients. "It's probably not that bad." "It's probably not the thing you think it is." - and then something like this happens. Where it's way worse than anyone could've imagined beforehand-and they told Mal it was all in her head! Oh, I'm fuming. I am _so_ angry. I had a similar experience probably ten years ago where I had an awful pain in my stomach (I remember wondering if it was the appendix), and they ran a few tests but only half-heartedly, and that was after I had to wait for eight hours in the ER for help. In the end they didn't find out what it was and just dropped it. Prescribed me some pills (for what? Who KNOWS?) and said "it'll go away". Sure, it did, but I never found out what the issue was. You guys are in America, I'm in Sweden. This happens *everywhere* and it's horrifying that it does.
On another note: I'm so glad you brought up the "soooo when are you having kids" question that people have indeed asked you time and time again over the years, in Q&A's, in comments on completely unrelated vlogs, etc. For over a decade! I, first of all, just wanna say that I admire your patience with those questions, because as someone who _has_ a uterus but has zero desire to ever have kids, since I was a teenager and even now when I'm 28... I would be less patient. I have been less patient with friends and family who have asked me the same thing. Not everyone wants kids, not everyone can _have_ kids. Like you said, Stephen... just don't ever, _ever_ ask anyone that question, because it can be a very sensitive question. Just don't do it.
So this was yet another vlog that left me crying at the end and I just wanna close this off by once again saying how much I admire you both. So, so much. Thank you for sharing your story, Mal, for not shying away from talking about it because it can help (and has helped, as I've seen) someone out there. Thank you. All of my love and virtual hugs to you. ❤
Took the words right out of my mouth! I'm sure a lot of us feel this way, but you've got such a great way with words
@@nishka_w I think so too, sadly. Thank you so much! ❤
Oh Mal ❤ I felt so deeply you when you talked about how you felt like it was all in your head and how you would be wasting everyone's time. That's the result of being ignored and not heard for so many years by healthcare professionals. The people that come into the field to help you hurt you the most. I am so sorry.
But I am so glad you had a great experience with this professional. He and his staff are real gems. Best wishes as you continue to get better
Recently, I was telling my dad about Mal's story and this was how I found out my mom had endo. Nowhere near like what Mal experienced, but it affected my parents' ability to have kids. And because of the method they used to increase their odds, that's how they wound up with triplets. I never knew there was anything like that to do with it, I always thought it was just random chance. My sibs and I are 28 years old and I just found this out last week.
My aunt, who has been like a second mother to me, had a full hysterectomy long ago due to a baby sized 8 lb tumor in her uterus. She has had and will continue to have a wonderful, fulfilling life without kids (well, with her 3 fur children). Women are not defined by their ability to procreate, and Mal is going to have a great, pain free life now and I'm so happy for her.
You two are both incredible role models, and I'd say to an extent that's part of being a parent. Or, to put it another way, don't worry about people asking about kids when you've got so many grandkids who love you both very much for the goodness you inspire in the world. People should respect the decision you made, but that's the society we live in I suppose.
Hope Mal's recovery is going brilliantly, and there are many pain free days in the Georg household to come.
You two have had kids for years. Not just your cats, but your viewers who you call your grandkids.
And we all love you two. Very much
Anybody who questions/disagrees with your decision can, respectfully, get bent.
I like the idea of "respectfully" getting bent lmao
Novel incoming. First of all, 110% agree with not asking folks about having kids. If all you have to ask a woman or a couple is marriage/kids/societal norms, it’s honestly better if you just don’t talk at all. People, especially women, are more than their marital status or ability to birth children. Treat them as such. If folks have plans for such things, let THEM tell YOU. Otherwise, a safe assumption is that it’s none of your business.
Second, I wondered if a hysterectomy was going to happen. As someone who also went through a hysterectomy (not for endo, for a different reason), being free of pain and discomfort and being able to have an excellent quality of life is far more important than the ability to birth children. My husband and I had also chosen to not have kids, regardless of the hysterectomy, but there were plenty of folks who were so “concerned” about me losing my uterus. And I’m like, you’re not concerned about me now when I’ve been hemorrhaging for almost a year and was gaslit about what was happening in my body? You’re only concerned now that it affects my ability to reproduce but not my everyday quality of life? Okay. Cool.
And third, some people don’t want kids. The “ticking clock” is a myth. Whether they physically can or can’t, some people don’t want kids. And it’s not anyone else’s place to question or think someday they’ll change their mind or feel “concern” over THEIR decision. People ask my husband and I “Well, then who is going to take care of you when you’re old?” and we say “The money we save by not having kids.” Going back to the first point…just do us all a favor and don’t talk.
Mal is a queen for following her gut instinct in choosing this doctor, going through with this surgery, and putting her health and her quality of life above anything else. WERK.
As a woman who ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WANT KIDS being asked when I'm going to have them is annoying, irritating, and infuriating, particularly the little question that always comes after I say I don't want them: "Why not?" Like it's no one's business why I've made this choice! I've literally been asked this and then had it mansplaned to me why I SHOULD want kids before I could really get a word in to explain something that was none of his business anyway. It was total garbage too like "a woman's life is just so much better after she has kids" No. No it is not. I like kids, but they are EXHAUSTING and when I watch them for friends/family it's always a relief when I return them to their parents.
I'd be slapping anyone who tells me that.
I just want to jump in and say that I've been told "well it's different when they're yours" that is not the point! I honestly started developing a kind of dislike for kids because people keep trying to push for me to have kids. I said I don't want any and that answer should be good enough! I shouldn't have to give a 9 paragraph essay for why I don't want children. My brother also doesn't want kids and no one trust to tell him "it's better when they're yours" or "but they make your life so complete!" It's pretty much to my understanding people are stuck in a "a woman's job is to be a home maker." Thing ugh thanks for the chance to rant lol I'm glad that I'm not the only one who doesn't want kids and has a uterus!
I can also relate to this SO much. When I was 4 I said to my parents I hate children and ill never want them, I'm 26 and I still feel that same way even when I was little I just got so annoyed with the crying kids and other kids that wanted to play with me while I wanted to be left alone. I've always been a older? person internally and just can not get on the level of children. Everyone said that ill have changed my mind and I second that kids are so exhausting and I just don't need that responsibility, id prefer pets, they make me happy and calm while children drive my anxiety way up.
If you use the term mansplain
Please don't have kids
@@sprenzy7936 the point
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.
.
You
I’m so sad to hear Mal was that seriously sick but she’s finally on the path to recovery and that’s what matters most. I look forward to seeing her healthy again and I hope you guys decide to get Keppy a furry friend(s) down the road :)
“What if this is a waste of time?” I just want to let you know Mal, I am in a similar situation. In May I got a lap procedure to see if the chronic pain I’ve had for over a year. For me, they did not find endo. I still have not found the cause of my pain, but I am so happy I’ve gone through every doctor and procedure I have to find why I’ve had my pain and find how to deal with it. As a fellow anxious person, it’s better to go through than to not 💜
The medical people who helped you were a blessing. I'm so glad you felt comforted, Mal.
Mallory is a superhero for going through all of that. Appendectomy, excision and a hysterectomy are nothing to scoff at individually and she had all 3 at once.
For the record I would never ask because I understand it is personal but I always assumed you were having kids some day based on the way you answered questions about it in the past. So hearing this initially it did kinda wrench at my gut a little until you clarified that you never wanted kids. But I am happy that wasn't an issue for you and with time Mal can be healed and that is the most important thing. Good luck to you both, I wish you the best.
I'm just happy that Mal gets to live a long life pain free and surrounded by cats! Honestly the most ideal life! I hope Mal has a wonderful recovery!
one amazing thing i noticed is that Stephen simply can't help himself but show affection for Mal whenever anything concerning her happens. He did mention a long time ago that he's not really a person that publically does that much but back when Mal resigned was the first time we saw a much more passionate side of Stephen and in the post-surgery vlogs stephen could simply not do without giving Mal a lot of "i love you"s and even this cute kiss on the forehead. So even Stephen who generally tries to not make it a big deal that he loves his wife simply HAS to show it sometimes and that is freaking adorable :)
My dear friend is going through endo and has the same outlook as Mal does: make the pain stop. Sadly, she can't find a surgeon nearby to help because she's "too young" (she's 26) to decide if she wants a hysterectomy.
I'm glad you're on the road to recovery Mal! It's inspiring to see someone get the treatment they need. #TeamMal
Ugh. Yeah, she's more than old enough to vote, drive, drink, or enlist in a war, but she can't possibly make her own decisions about whether she wants kids, of course not, the doctors clearly know what she'll want way better than she possibly could, it's not like it's her body and her reproductive plans or anything like that... /sarcasm
And I'm quite certain that a 26-year-old man who wanted a vasectomy would face a whole lot less opposition.
You'd think that she could alert the local medical board about being refused this.
IN WHAT WORLD IS 26 TOO YOUNG TO MAKE A DECISION?! You're an adult and the brain is fully developed by that age. Holy shit
The worst part is that given the track record of many other stories en masse - especially Stephen and Mal’s - that request to a medical board may itself not get anywhere except for an explicit reason why it won’t get anywhere.
I know someone who went through some of the same things-traveled to Atlanta for endo surgery but didn’t have a hysterectomy because she and her husband wanted children. She eventually had to go and have a hysterectomy anyway when her endo returned.
There’s a lot of grief and pain when people aren’t able to have children when they want them, which is why you should not ever ask people when they’re having children.
Exactly this, I have a friend that really wanted a kid but had 3 miscarriages and everytime someone asks her this she has to hold back tears because it reminds her of her miscarriages and how she can't have a biological child. I personally don't like kids but it makes me so upset hearing someone ask her that when its a really emotional subject for her
I suspected that that was going to be the news, when you were so secretive about things on streams.
I will admit I'm someone who has wondered if/when you would have kids, but I'm glad I never actually asked (as far as I recall?)
While it would have been special seeing how you two raise a child, it probably would have been difficult balancing privacy and how much you would actually share with the vlog. And also better to avoid even remotely being compared to all those "family vlogs" that are absolutely awful on youtube.
You guys already share SO MUCH of your personal and private lives with us, and I guess that does have pros and cons. Makes us sometimes feel like we "deserve" to know more than we actually do. So, again, thanks for sharing as much as you already do, which is why we all feel like we're even a tiny bit part of your family.
Love you Grandma and Grandpa Georg
100% support on not asking people about kids. It's a personal decision that people need to make on their own. Plus you never know if it might be a painful question to the person you're asking, who might be dealing with infertility issues or other health stuff. Imagine if someone really wanted kids, but was forced to have a hysterectomy for endo, or any other health reason - it would really suck for them to then be asked about kids.
(And it's a little silly that nobody would ever ask "hey, are you having unprotected s*x" but people feel free to ask "are you trying to have [biological] kids" even though the latter often implies the former...)
...you can say "sex" on the internet, you know
@@BJGvideos Lol yeah, but Stephen almost always keeps his videos family friendly (Stephen and Friends aside) and I know there are younger kids who watch StephenVlog, so I figured it couldn't hurt to censor it.
@@elenna1237 Maybe it's because my mom is a nurse and taught us stuff like sex ed but I don't really see how referencing the concept of sex is somehow child unfriendly. It isn't like you're giving any detail or being pornographic.
@@BJGvideos Yeah, true, and I agree that kids should have a basic idea of what sex is. My thought process was that Stephen probably wouldn't say the word sex in a video, so I didn't want to say it in a comment on his video. But maybe I'm wrong about what Stephen would or would not say.
(My parents probably told me about where babies come from when I was little, but other than that they would never talk about sex, everything I know came from school and the internet. So that may be subconsciously influencing me a little, even though consciously I think it should be a less taboo topic.)
As a 26 year old woman who just got married. People are constantly asking me when I’m having kids. I always respond with I don’t want any right now maybe later I’m happy with my life. I work in a preschool with children aged 15 months to 2 years, I nanny twice a week, and babysit here and there. I love kids but I love that they aren’t mine! Just a few hours and I’m good. 😂😂
But yes people seriously need to stop asking! It’s annoying and is hurtful especially when close family and friends ask. My sister at one point even said how I’m breaking her heart because I don’t want any soon or possibly at all. 😒
Love you guys! This is life is for you and your kitties. That’s all the family you need. ❤️❤️ and that’s perfectly okay!
I...had a feeling that was what was going to happen. The moment I was telling my mum about Mal's pain and plans for surgery, she was like "...I sure hope they didn't want to have kids..."
But I kind of knew you guys weren't. I never asked. I knew that was fricken rude as hell, but I just kind of...knew? I am just happy that the choice was easy for you to make.
My sibling just had breast reduction earlier this year, and had a bit of the same question asked, though not as extream as "Are you ok with never having kids"
In order to do what was needed to be done, the doctor had to, for lack of a better term, remove the ability to feel and produce (if you catch my drift). And my sibling very confidently answered "I don't mind, I just want them gone."
While hearing about Mal's experiences, it did remind me of my sibling in some way. Of course, not in the same manner, but their back was (and still is) a complete mess, and part of that was due to the heavy weight that was on their chest. But, for the longest time, doctors had told them "You don't need breast reduction. We'll just mess with your back instead!" but the chances of them losing the ability to move was way to high for any of us to chose that option. So...my sibling lived in constant pain and slowly losing feeling in their legs and would constantly collapse.
Until we met a doctor who would do the breast reduction for them. (and for free). They were so happy they started balling their eyes out.
And, since the surgery, they've been walking straighter, and longer, than I've seen them do in so long. They are working, when before the idea of them working was a pipe dream.
So...I kind of get it. It isn't the same, not by a long shot, but I do get it.
I am just...so happy and proud of Mal. So damn much.
You did it, Mal. You did what you thought was impossible.
I remember hearing a childhood friend talk about how if they (her and hubby) were going to have kids, it would be via adoption, they didn't have interest in biological children. She made a post on FB expressing the same thoughts of just not asking about it. While they truly are great parents for their son, even I knew better than to ask about that. It is a sensitive topic and one that should only be discussed when the party in question consents to it.
I'm glad the surgeon did what he needed to and you're happy with the results. Best wishes for a healthy recovery Mal.
I'm so glad that the doctor you found was so amazing to you. It's heartbreaking that so many other doctors failed you. I hope that things improve for you after this and you start feeling so much better.
I wish I could give you both the biggest, squeeziest hug ever after all you've been through. Sending all my love.
Let's go Mal wishing yall the best!
We love you both and thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad mal was able to get the care she needed and that the hysterectomy was not a major loss. I know it can be devastating to others so I’m glad you’re in a good mindset for that. -hugs everyone-
Thank you for talking about how it is never okay to ask people when they're having kids, I really wish people would stop.
You definitely made the right decision. Even if you wanted kids you could always adopt or get a surrogate or something. And not being able to enjoy life to the fullest because of a fixable medical problem isn't worth it. So happy that everything seems to be going well and so happy that you guys are getting through it together. We all love you both and can't wait until you're back on your feet and enjoying life Mal!
First and foremost: BIG AGREE to the decree, “do not ask people when they’re having kids.” They will ask you 5 seconds into your marriage. They will ask you as you’re literally holding a newborn in your arms. Don’t ask it. Let’s all phase that question out.
There is so much of a woman’s identity in society (and politics) around our reproductive parts. Honestly, it’s infuriating. I’m so proud of you for making this hard choice (because even if y’all don’t want kids, this was still a hard choice!) so you can enjoy your life free of pain. I’m so happy you have finally been taken care of by a professional the way you deserve to be taken care of. I’m so sorry this journey has been so long for you, but I’m glad you choose YOU. You’re worth it.
💜
Stephen and Mal, I'm your kid, we're all your kids. It's hard to express how much you've helped influence and change me throughout the eight years I've been watching you. You've touched more lives than you know, and you'll always be a part of mine through the vlogs and let's plays. No parasocial relationship here, but I want to thank you so much for everything. You've been great parents.
I had a total hysterectomy when I was 22, and eight years later, I can undoubtedly say that it was the best decision I ever made and one which I will never regret. I fought exceptionally hard to have the surgery; no doctor would perform one on an unmarried, childless woman of my age because they believed I would change my mind about not wanting children. They ardently asserted that it, because it wasn't a technically necessary surgery and was considered "elective" I shouldn't have it. They tried bringing in my mental health related issues and the fact that I had depression and saw a therapist to further undermine my ability to make decisions for myself. It took my father's advocacy to finally have them listen to me. I fought so hard for years against a system inherently inept at handling women's health to finally convince medical health professionals that my life, sanity, and health was more than worth the loss of being able to have kids, which I always asserted that I never wanted anyway.
I hope Mal's recovery goes smoothly; I promise the pain will lessen in time! I'm glad the hysterectomy was not a heartrending occurrence for you both, and I know the pain-free life will be more than worth it! Props to nurse Stephen for being the greatest aid Mal could ask for during this time! Much love to you both! (And Keppy!)
Total hysterectomy twin! Proud of you for advocating for yourself, especially at that age. Mine was ten years later at 32 and lord I wish I’d pushed harder for it much sooner. I bow to you!
Found over the years that folks tend to question anyone who isn't living what is considered to be a "traditional" lifestyle. Most of it's innocent or at least coming from what they feel is a good place without understanding that it really isn't their place and puts a lot of pressure on those they are pestering, sometimes into decisions that are detrimental to the individual(s). So it's good to see you guys calling out that behavior and nipping it in the bud!
The choices you made were fully informed, discussed and agreed upon by both of you which are the only two people who matter in the equation. Outside that it's wonderful to hear that Mal's improving steadily, fingers crossed it all goes well no matter how long it takes her to get there! Fortunately we know she has an excellent care taker and by now likely has a fuzzy nurse to help as well, love too you both
Even when you do have the “traditional” lifestyle, you can still get invasive questions. I have two beautiful girls and I went through a traumatic experience when I had my youngest girl. My husband and I decided we weren’t going to have any more kids. We have gotten a handful of questions asking us when we were going to have a boy. Then we feel the need to explain why we’re not having any more kids. People don’t realize how invasive a simple question is. And at the end of the day, this is Stephen and Mal’s decision. As long as our favorite internet grandparents are happy, then we’re all happy. #TeamMal
The best thing in life is the ability to make up one's own traditions. My brother and I never really showed any desire to have children. I do wish sometimes that I had found someone to marry so my dad could walk me down the aisle, but it never happened.
I mean tbh who needs biological kids when you have all these internet grandkids???
Aw 🥰🥰
That’s what I’ve been saying!
The best part about all of this outside of the successful surgery is how honest you are with each other. You went into this on the same page and have accepted it on the same page. There is more to life than getting married just to have kids. I do agree that asking others when they’re having kids is wrong and that should be literally no one’s business besides the couple. I’m glad that you both are comfortable with the decisions that you have made and you will always know that your community, friends, and family will always have your back. We’re rooting for you Mal and Stephen! ❤️
you guys have thousands of grandkids across the world. hello from the Caribbean, please rest and get well soon, Mal!
I remember, way back during my school years, that one of my teachers was gone for almost half a year (scheduled that way) and when she returned she was very subdued. One day, a friend and me came across her crying and we asked her if she neeeded help and she told us that there's sadly nothing we could do for her being unable to having the children she wanted now, but that she really appreciates that we checked in with her, and we stayed for as long as we could to cheer her up a little bit. I heavily suspect a similar story to Mal's, but without the fortunate happenstance of not wanting kids anyway.
So yes, never ask people about children, it's annoying at best and very painful at worst, I agree fully with you guys.
People asking about kids drives me insane, it's your choice, it's your business. You not wanting human babies is your decision and it's a completely reasonable one! You have your fluffy children and that's all you need ❤️ I respect you both so much for not bowing to the societal pressure of having children, good on you!
Mal, you've been so brave and strong throughout your pain and you look so well in this video even one day after surgery! I remember Stephen posting a photo on Twitter not long after your surgery and you were glowing and gorgeous, it's so lovely to see you smile. I'm so happy that you'll finally be able to be pain free!
Sad to hear what Mal has been going through all these years and the support Stephen has been giving Mal is amazing. Love you both and wishing Mal a speedy recovery and no more problems in the future. ❤
Oh, I am so glad Mal got through the procedure! I feel bad that she went through all that pain. I'm rooting for a full recovery!
Also, if I can be honest I always considered your cats to be your children. Your little fur babies. That's how I always saw it though, I wouldn't have asked because... Well I would have been afraid I was being rude for asking. Though thank you for the clarification!
I'm very glad that Mal is doing well, and that she felt incredibly well taken care of throughout this process. I wish you a happy, speedy and as pain free of a recovery as possible.
As a couple who has decided to not have kids ourselves, hearing your affirmations meant a lot. One thing we've always said is that we want to be the village for the other kids in our family.
Also, as someone who's a nurse it was such a high compliment when my significant other turned to me and said "I knew you'd love this video because this is what you do for your patients". The nurses i work with are always surprised when I detangle someone's hair or find time to give a patient a back rub. Sometimes i have no idea if I'm making a difference or if someone will remember. But seeing the positive impact your nurse had on you turned me into a blubbering mess. That is what every patient deserves.
I know there's a lot of comments about this, but I think it bears saying that you've known about Mal's health for a long time and that not having kids was probably a good thing and maybe even part of the decision. My mom has had chronic health issues for years and even though she had three kids, it was rough for her at first and she wasn't able to have any more than three even though she wanted more. You made the right choice. And you have both done so much more for kids than you even think about, with Extra Life and with all the wonderful things you do. You aren't a couple who hates kids or just has some kind of personal dislike of them. You love and care about kids all over the world and you're extremely caring and passionate people. Don't let anyone make you feel bad that your lives couldn't take the route of having some for yourself, and think about all the ones whose lives are better thanks to you. My special congrats to Mal for heading towards a new life.
Glad they were able to get everything affected by Endo out.
My mom has been super interested in following Mal's Endo journey since you guys posted the first vlog talking about it a few weeks ago, and she has been empathizing and sympathizing *hard*; she doesn't have Endo (as far as she knows), but she apparently used to have really bad, painful periods when she was young (mostly in her teens), so she can only begin to imagine the pain Mal has been through. She kept talking about how smart, sweet, and amazing Mal was and was tearing up whenever you guys got emotional.
Hoping for a swift recovery! You'll probably feel amazing after dealing with all that pain for years.
I remember when i first watched this 2 years ago, and and in the subject of children and remembering in many instances prior to this especially in vlogs where they were serious discussions where people had opportunities to ask those questions, I agree with Stephen frustrated with people asking constantly. I hate that also because just like Stephen and Mal, when I was married at the time, I myself was asked by friends and family if would ever have kids. And on my own admission my wife could not or had a very slim chance to ever have children because early in her life she had cancer, and chemo that she had to endure in her childhood, almost all but eliminated any chance of her having children because of her chemo. Granted she wanted kids and as did I then, but also made sure she knew I was ok to the fact not being able to have kids wasnt a determent to our marriage, and never was up til she passed, and still today am glad I never had children.
People need to understand people, especially people that are in the spotlight like Stephen and Mal is, that they dont usually display thier deep personal lives outside of what we see on the vlog for a reason, and we shouldn't ever ask people unless they feel compelled to say so themselves.
Its not our business first off and 2nd its not our right to pry into thier personal spaces if they dont talk about it to begin with.
And I'm not trying to say it in a bad manner, but I was raised early on I don't pry in someone's life if they aren't wanting me to know about what thier business is to begin with.
Of course I understand people are curious, gosh I was also, but again yall never discussed this so I never myself pried about it. Until this day, which imo I kinda felt that was your thinking anyhow.
From yalls lifestyle yall have produced over the years, that was my feeling so i never said a word because again thats your business not mine so.
I realize to most of the community wasn't that way, but alot did.
Again people shouldn't ask if you know they don't discuss nor put thier deep personal lives to begin with on the vlog so if you know why ask and pry?
This was the most intense vlog i can ever recall, thankfully Mal recovered from this. And happy in the end that this was eventually discussed to serve like Stephen said a lesson. To let people know dont pry on peoples lives if you know they dont put it out there to begin with.
I am so very happy for how things turned out. From the amazing story of the bedside manners to the reveal of the endo results, the decisions that you two have made are yours and yours alone. The recovery will be longer, but it's for preventing further pain. Here's love from one of many many MANY internet grandkids 🥰❤ #TeamMal #CatLove
Hoping your recovery is going well
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say although I really appreciate want want to be supportive when you feel okay talking about "certain things" with the vlog, I also want to make it VERY clear that that is never the expectation as far as I'm concerned. Private things are private until you decide you're comfortable talking about it, not one second sooner, no matter how many people may ask.
All that said, I'm so glad to hear that the surgery went well, and that you're both doing ok! I hope Mal's recovery is as quick and painless as possible! Good vibes.
Sending well wishes! So glad you’ve finally gotten such amazing treatment after that long ordeal ❤️
Sending healing energy and love
I remember Stephen hinting at this in a stream, and I thought this was where it was heading. I was afraid for you both if it was actually something you wanted and you lost that particular option. But to hear that this is something you've discussed and agreed upon long before the surgery is a relief. The fact that you were on the same page five years ago and that decision hasn't changed says a lot about how certain you two are.
Despite the awful road you've had to take, Mal, I am absolutely thrilled to hear that you don't have any regrets. The recovery will undoubtedly be long and painful, but you have probably the best caretaker in the world for you, as well as the support of tens of thousands of grandkids, who don't need a defined generation between us to be your grandkids. (Unless we've all decided to claim Kepler as our parent and I missed that stream...? Or maybe it has something to do with the TRG Colo family tree?)
Man, everything that can be said has been said, but imma chime in and also say you two are *literally* perfect. 😭 #TeamMal
Thank you for being willing to share. I hate how society feels the "kids" question is appropriate for anyone, especially random strangers, to ask. Working in healthcare myself, I cannot even begin to count the number of times I've been asked about marriage and children. If I had a dollar for every time, I would have many dollars. We love you and support you both
I feel a little guilty. I was never someone to ask if you were trying/planning to become parents, but there was a few moments in the past that I interpreted as that you two were trying to maybe become parents, and (somewhat jokingly) asked, “Baby?” I’m sorry if that made you two upset - it wasn’t my intention.
Im glad to hear that you two are comfortable and at peace with not becoming parents - I’m sure it wasn’t easy regardless, but Im glad you two seem happy with that decision. Your cats can be your children, and we, the fans, will continue to be your grandchildren. 💛
THANK YOU! STOP asking for kids. I have PCOS, and, although it is not painful like endo is, it still makes it extremely difficult to have kids. And I am so sick of people asking when I'm having kids. I'll have an army of corgies before I have kids. I am so glad that you guys had the heart to say it out. Mallory, I am so sorry about all that you have been through, but I know it's going to be better soon. Stephen, the love you have for Mal is palpable, and I admire you guys for being so genuine with us. I'm sending all the love
An army of corgis >>>>>>>
It really sucks to not be listened to for so long and really satisfying for a doctor to finally listen. When I needed my tonsils out badly no doctor would take it seriously until I stumbled across one who was amazing and took my need seriously. And even when insurance told me we aren’t covering it she jumped through so many hoops herself until they had no choice. Big shout out to those doctors out there who are like this. You are amazing and wonderful and anyone who knows something is wrong with themselves and you believe them are really helpful.
You two are so good to each other and so genuinely smart. It's clear how much time and thought was put into all of this and how every decision was made with health and wellbeing at the forefront. It's tragic how broken this system we live in is and how hard that has made it for Mal, but I'm certain neither of you regrets having done it for a second. Keep on healing and we will look forward to a brilliant return!
Sending all the love and support I can to Grandma and Grandpa Georg along with a safe recovery. Fingers crossed that there will be no resurgence of endo and that you guys can just get back to doing what you love when you get home. #TeamMal
It's so interesting that when we are all younger we all have the idea of the happy nuclear family as what our lives will be. It's only as we experience the world that we understand that that is one of so many options. My babies are also furbabies (1 dog and 2 cats). And that's more than good enough for me. My best well wishes and good vibes to Mal for a smooth recovery and many DDR games and pain free days to come!
You are exactly right about paths forward for having kids if you ever change your mind. It was more important to have Mal outta pain and able to live a more normal life.
This was such a great video, thank you both for sharing. My husband and I relate so much to you both about kids (and how upsetting it can feel to constantly be asked/pressured about it). You guys are not alone.💕 Mal, sending you good vibes for a smooth recovery.
I'm very behind on vlogs, but I'm glad things end up great for you guys!
I had a feeling this was happening. Glad that you both came to that decision. Lots of love.
I have a lot of feelings about all of this. I doubt I'd be able to write anything without it becoming an incoherent mess so all I will say is:
Mal you were a victim of gaslighting for years and no one's time was wasted but yours and you did everything you could to get help and I'm so glad you got it.
And Stephen continue to be an amazing person and you're doing a great job in taking care of Mal just make sure you also get support for yourself as well.
#TeamMal
I remember one of you saying that when Mal woke up, she initially said "Oh it's like one of my bad days." In the comments of that video, the commenter who said that if one of Mal's bad days was on par with getting out of major invasive surgery then it was worth it.
That puts things into perspective on how strong you are and how intense this actually is/was. Being in that much pain and the gaslighting that made the problems even worse... You are an exceptionally strong person Mal. You two have been bearing this for a while. A long while. That weight is almost done. There is a finish line now.
Dealing with that hysterectomy portion, it's perfectly fine to not want kids. If you change your minds, like Stephen said there are ways to adopt a child to raise.
My mom had to get a hysterectomy (It was like 20 years ago probably for endo), and, like Mal, we weren't allowed to make her laugh. The day of surgery (after the procedure), we all showed up afterwards to support her. My dad didn't exactly think things through. He started playing America's Funniest Videos in the hospital room. My mom, to this day, says that it was both one of the funniest things that he's ever done, and very painful.
Mal talking about women's reproductive health so openly has become important to me as a person. I have PCOS and alot of time people are misdiagnosed with that or endo. It a criminally under researched and criminally in recognized in the medical system. I was recently diagnosed and now I have to take birth control. It really affects all parts of life. Hearing about Mal's experience hurts but I'm happy she was finally able to get the treatment she deserved and I hope this puts an end to the pain. They said they don't want children but I regret to inform them they have many. All of us grandchildren are here at your back to support you. I've had some shitty experiences with my parents and have always look up to them as parental figures. Thank you for all you do in the community, for being honest and giving a safe space for everyone. #teammal
had a feeling that the kids talk was going to come up, but i’m glad you guys were able to take it so well- i was pretty worried it would be more devastating of news to you both lol. i wish the best for the rest of your recovery mal!! it’s longer, but after it’s over i hope you can finally be free of pain from that area, cause god does it suck to have it . love u both!! ╰(*´︶ `*)╯♡
edit: forgot to mention that it was nice to hear you guys address how people shouldn’t ask couples (or women in general tbh) about when they plan to have kids- it’s so frustrating… not everyone plans to have them and it feels like such an inappropriate question at times
I think a lot of us expected this to be what to expect from the full story after hearing about it on the breakfast stream. And it is completely the right decision for both Mal and you in order to make her feel better. I'm so happy that Mal had a loving caring surgeon and nurse to take care of her during the procedure, and it made me choke up a bit seeing how emotional she got talking about it. Even though the recovery will be longer than expected, it will be worth it after all the years of pain she's had to endure. We've got your back always! Sending you all the good vibes and love and I hope and pray the next stage of this journey will be one that is pain-free. Go Mal! #TeamMal
Based on the description of what the doctors found, I can’t even imagine what kind of pain you were in Mal. But this whole vlog had me holding back tears. I’m so glad the doctors and nurses were so kind and good to you! And I’m glad the question of kids has been put to rest! I always get uncomfortable when people ask those kind of questions, and as a trans man who’s married, my partner and I decided long ago that we don’t want any kids, but that never stops people from asking, even if we’ve been super clear on our stance. It’s a super triggering subject for me just thinking about it. Seeing you call that behavior out and asking people to stop means a lot.
Can I also just say that your doctor has won big points in my book for actually listening to you both about not wanting kids and doing the hysterectomy to help Mals’s health! I’ve heard so many horror stories of women not being treated or not listened to because the doctor thinks a women’s reproductive capacity is more important than their wants or health. That feels like such a low bar that many doctors do not clear, unfortunately. :/
Sending lots of love!
It just blows my mind how difficult it is for women to actually get an answer as to what is causing their internal issues. About two years ago, my doctor thought I had endo, but what caused her to schedule the surgery was that the signs I was displaying could have pointed to anything from endometrial cancer to a rough adjustment to a new birth control pill. Turns out that I did not have endo (or cancer), and the potential alternative diagnosis, adenometriosis, would have required a hysterectomy just to confirm, which I wasn’t about to do. To this day, I still have no idea I have such nasty periods, but switching from a four week pill to a 13 week pill means I don’t have to deal with them as often. Also, I agree that it’s really weird how quickly the switch flips when people talk about having kids. When I first started the pill, my mom seemed to think I would consider it a license to make bad choices. Not even six months later, my cousin had a baby and my mom slipped into the conversation that she would like to join the grandma club too. I had eight months left before graduating from college and was in a relationship whose dysfunction was blindingly obvious to strangers. I’m glad Mal has good prognosis and hope she can get back to a better quality of life soon
I almost teared at all this. I hope Mal has a nice and full recovery.
Man that "When are you having kids?" is pretty relatable, but for a pretty different topic.
When I was a closeted teenager it was always so daunting hearing people ask me "You got a girlfriend?" or teasing me about a female friend being a love interest. It's ok to ask if someone's into someone else, but to assume any friend is a love interest (and to default to hetero pairings in my case) can stress someone on the inside that could be scared of showing their true selves. So yeah, I may not ever be in a position to have kids, but I can certainly imagine how irksome that question can be.
That's the other funny thing too, most people ask "WHEN are you having kids?" as if not having kids isn't an option...
I'm glad you're feeling better everyday. Sending prayers and good vibes.
As an OR nurse, it’s great to hear that your experience and surgery went well! Sounds like you had a fantastic OR team. The CRNA/anesthesiologist probably slipped in some versed between holding and the OR to help with your nerves which is why you can’t remember. I help do hysterectomies all the time, it’s informative to see the other side of it more. Take your time with recovery and bring up to your Dr. if you have any concerns.
Much love to you both! I hope for the quickest, smoothest, easiest, recovery possible!
Big hugs and good vibes! We love you both!
Wishing you guys the best! Mal, you're one tough cookie! Stephen, you're an awesome support system!
I'm glad you're happy with your decisions and the outcome of the surgery - that's the important thing. Best of luck during recovery, and here's to a pain-free future!
So glad to hear you both are going to be able to live the life you love (and enjoy it so much more now). Hoping for an easy recovery for Mal and many pain-free years.
You're both so strong but oh goodness Mal! I'm so glad you could have this surgery and start the long road to recovery, even if it was worse than you originally thought. You've got all us cheering you on, just take it easy
Sending the best of vibes! Mal, Stephen, you are an inspiration on so many levels
I'm so glad you had such a great doctor and surgery nurse. They sound amazing. Mal I hope your recovery is still going well!!
I’m glad someone really hammered home on the “don’t ask if/when someone is going to have kids”. Some people can’t. Some people desperately want to and keep having miscarriages. Some people are completely infertile. Some people had to get those parts removed. Some people SIMPLY DONT WANT TO. And quite frankly, it’s no ones damn business. I can’t have biological kids. I had to make that medical decision at 16. I do not regret it, but I still wish I could. And people don’t realize it sucks to be poked and prodded about it.
Glad to hear you two, Mal especially, seem to be in good spirits and happy to have it done!! That’s all that really matters at the end of the day! Good luck and good vibes, we’re all wishing Mal a speedy recovery!!
I hope your recovery goes well, Mal! #GoodVibes #TeamMal
Sending all my love and healing energy ❤️❤️❤️
I just want to give y'all a hug. I'm glad Mal finally has some closure.
I'm so glad Mal is ok, hope you both have restful days ahead
Thanks for letting us know how Mal is doing and I'm glad she's on the road to recovery.
Sending you all the best wishes and luck to you both! Congratulations on ending this long journey Mal.
I'm SO happy for you!! The sheer relief that you must be feeling after all this... I'm really glad to hear the surgeon and his team were so considerate and understanding. You couldn't have been in better hands. Things will only go uphill from here.